currently on my kitchen counter there are nine squash, six zuchinni and eight (and a half i got snacky) cucumbers. this is after making six veggie lasagnas and eight jars of pickles this last week. we have veggies coming out our ears right now and that's not even counting tomatoes that will be in full force this next week from our 15ish tomato plants. yikes.
so. i'm pretty pumped about this to say the least. food prep is not only a personal challenge and creative outlet for me, but in recent months a necessity. so yesterday while i was trying to decide another way to freeze squash it hit me...
we are 90% certain we will be bring our child(ren) home in winter time at this point.
and they'll likely be of the age to be testing foods.
meaning...that the squash on my counter right now will be my child's winter meals!!!
i don't know why certain things hit me more than others. but the idea that i was no longer freezing all these veggies just for us was a huge reality check.
**quick update on the "home in winter time" statement. in the past several weeks we have received word that our orphange will be up for re-evaluation in august. that is assumed to go easily and smoothly, more a formality. once that is complete, they can start new adoptions and take in more babies...as it is, they are currently only able to work on those cases that had been started previously and cannot take in more children. there is also a pregnant women's safe house that provides a majority of the babies in our orphanage. apparently that safe house is busting with new pregnant moms that are deciding to put their children up for adoption. they are very eager for our orphanage to open up its doors again. for this reason...we have been led to believe that come august there could be a huge boom of referrals. EEKS. we are obviously very pumped about this news...while trying to maintain a very reserved excitement level. looking at current average timelines, IF we received our referral in august/september-ish it would probably mean travel around november/december-ish. which would mean the best birthday presents in the fall for both me and jacob...as well as all we could ever want for thanksgiving and christmas. all of this could easily be speculative and could change also. we definitely know things can go differently, but we continue to push forward in hope and pray judges continue to move cases through quickly.**
back to squash.
i caught myself sending a text out this morning to a friend that after the fact stopped me in my tracks. it was a simple text about some things i had been researching about food (including squash freezing) and i said "i feel like this is something i can totally do!" (in reference to feeding my future child)...and while initially that shouldn't cause any concern, the wise friend's response was to rely on God in the situation and believe in his goodness to cover those circumstances as they come more than relying on any actions i can take or things i can do. it was then i realized what i had texted "i can do this..." wasn't it this blog post just weeks ago that i said i never want to be in a state of not being dependent on God again. it's so easy to slip into that mindset. i was pumped because something that had seemed very daunting to me now seemed totally achievable...by my own doing. did i think all this new knowledge came magically to me? God has had me on this path of learning for months and he is, even now, helping to educate me on how to be the best mom to our future child.
God, continue to help me rely on you. i never want to parent without His help. i don't want to (be wise in my own eyes...see last post) ever come to place where i think i can do this parenting thing, or know how to feed my child, or know how to discipline without Him. i want to be desperate for Him in all areas...and while that's a scary desire because it's a hard one to walk out, isn't that what we signed up for when we became a christian? i need his guidance in all parts of life, from how i am a mom and share Christ with my child to best way to carry out my job.
so as i become excited about veggies in my garden feeding my child, i am simultaneously eager to see how God leads me to parent this particular child that he is giving specifically to us. he is placing a child with us that only we can parent and that is uniquely designed for this cecil family. and neither is possible without his complete guidance. may we never view squash the same. :)
so. i'm pretty pumped about this to say the least. food prep is not only a personal challenge and creative outlet for me, but in recent months a necessity. so yesterday while i was trying to decide another way to freeze squash it hit me...
we are 90% certain we will be bring our child(ren) home in winter time at this point.
and they'll likely be of the age to be testing foods.
meaning...that the squash on my counter right now will be my child's winter meals!!!
i don't know why certain things hit me more than others. but the idea that i was no longer freezing all these veggies just for us was a huge reality check.
**quick update on the "home in winter time" statement. in the past several weeks we have received word that our orphange will be up for re-evaluation in august. that is assumed to go easily and smoothly, more a formality. once that is complete, they can start new adoptions and take in more babies...as it is, they are currently only able to work on those cases that had been started previously and cannot take in more children. there is also a pregnant women's safe house that provides a majority of the babies in our orphanage. apparently that safe house is busting with new pregnant moms that are deciding to put their children up for adoption. they are very eager for our orphanage to open up its doors again. for this reason...we have been led to believe that come august there could be a huge boom of referrals. EEKS. we are obviously very pumped about this news...while trying to maintain a very reserved excitement level. looking at current average timelines, IF we received our referral in august/september-ish it would probably mean travel around november/december-ish. which would mean the best birthday presents in the fall for both me and jacob...as well as all we could ever want for thanksgiving and christmas. all of this could easily be speculative and could change also. we definitely know things can go differently, but we continue to push forward in hope and pray judges continue to move cases through quickly.**
back to squash.
i caught myself sending a text out this morning to a friend that after the fact stopped me in my tracks. it was a simple text about some things i had been researching about food (including squash freezing) and i said "i feel like this is something i can totally do!" (in reference to feeding my future child)...and while initially that shouldn't cause any concern, the wise friend's response was to rely on God in the situation and believe in his goodness to cover those circumstances as they come more than relying on any actions i can take or things i can do. it was then i realized what i had texted "i can do this..." wasn't it this blog post just weeks ago that i said i never want to be in a state of not being dependent on God again. it's so easy to slip into that mindset. i was pumped because something that had seemed very daunting to me now seemed totally achievable...by my own doing. did i think all this new knowledge came magically to me? God has had me on this path of learning for months and he is, even now, helping to educate me on how to be the best mom to our future child.
God, continue to help me rely on you. i never want to parent without His help. i don't want to (be wise in my own eyes...see last post) ever come to place where i think i can do this parenting thing, or know how to feed my child, or know how to discipline without Him. i want to be desperate for Him in all areas...and while that's a scary desire because it's a hard one to walk out, isn't that what we signed up for when we became a christian? i need his guidance in all parts of life, from how i am a mom and share Christ with my child to best way to carry out my job.
so as i become excited about veggies in my garden feeding my child, i am simultaneously eager to see how God leads me to parent this particular child that he is giving specifically to us. he is placing a child with us that only we can parent and that is uniquely designed for this cecil family. and neither is possible without his complete guidance. may we never view squash the same. :)
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