taiwan update

this is what we sent out to some friends and family earlier today...

Taiwan update:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (‭Ephesians‬ ‭6‬:‭12‬ NIV)

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. (‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭10‬:‭3-4‬ NIV)

In the last month these concepts of fighting an invisible war have been hammered into jacob and I through sermons, random prayers from friends and personal study. and as we got an update and had some conversations with people this morning we feel that is what we are looking at here. Taiwan has the highest abortion rate per capita in the world and that alone should explain the spiritual atmosphere of their country. but as of this morning the meeting is over but no decision has been made in the matter of the orphanage closing or remaining open. but apparently the orphanage's Christian practices of going about their adoptions as they feel God has led them has given the govt a lot of extra trouble and hassle and that's why no answer has been made. we don't mean to send out such a lengthy update but if you are continuing praying with us we want you to be aware of what we feel like we are up against....something God can easily handle. thanks for your continued prayers!

prayers please...

tonight at 10pm our (eastern) time it'll be 10am taiwan time and our orphanage has a meeting with government officials to decide if our orphanage is able to move forward with adoptions or if their license will be suspended for two years.

i got this information late last night and was obviously very shocked. i didn't know that decision was still on the table for debate and i definitely didn't expect to hear any news or updates until august when they were re-evaluated.

this is how it goes with adoption, though.  but we have had a somewhat supernatural, interesting week already and have had several experiences that have prepared us for just a day like today.  so we are praying today and have texted several other friends and family to do the same.

we have been led to believe that this is normally a quickly resolved item and they will hopefully know immediately...but that doesn't mean we will know immediately (as always). so as soon as i know news i'll post, but appreciate prayers in the meantime.

on the upside i feel oddly excited about this...because as the approval goes through this evening that could mean an even higher likelihood of us knowing more in August pertaining to our child. So we are praying confidently and with faith today. Thanks for the same! :)

squash epiphanies.

currently on my kitchen counter there are nine squash, six zuchinni and eight (and a half i got snacky) cucumbers.  this is after making six veggie lasagnas and eight jars of pickles this last week. we have veggies coming out our ears right now and that's not even counting tomatoes that will be in full force this next week from our 15ish tomato plants. yikes.

so. i'm pretty pumped about this to say the least. food prep is not only a personal challenge and creative outlet for me, but in recent months a necessity. so yesterday while i was trying to decide another way to freeze squash it hit me...

we are 90% certain we will be bring our child(ren) home in winter time at this point.
and they'll likely be of the age to be testing foods.
meaning...that the squash on my counter right now will be my child's winter meals!!!

i don't know why certain things hit me more than others. but the idea that i was no longer freezing all these veggies just for us was a huge reality check.

**quick update on the "home in winter time" statement. in the past several weeks we have received word that our orphange will be up for re-evaluation in august. that is assumed to go easily and smoothly, more a formality. once that is complete, they can start new adoptions and take in more babies...as it is, they are currently only able to work on those cases that had been started previously and cannot take in more children. there is also a pregnant women's safe house that provides a majority of the babies in our orphanage. apparently that safe house is busting with new pregnant moms that are deciding to put their children up for adoption. they are very eager for our orphanage to open up its doors again. for this reason...we have been led to believe that come august there could be a huge boom of referrals. EEKS. we are obviously very pumped about this news...while trying to maintain a very reserved excitement level. looking at current average timelines, IF we received our referral in august/september-ish it would probably mean travel around november/december-ish. which would mean the best birthday presents in the fall for both me and jacob...as well as all we could ever want for thanksgiving and christmas. all of this could easily be speculative and could change also. we definitely know things can go differently, but we continue to push forward in hope and pray judges continue to move cases through quickly.**

back to squash.

i caught myself sending a text out this morning to a friend that after the fact stopped me in my tracks.  it was a simple text about some things i had been researching about food (including squash freezing) and i said "i feel like this is something i can totally do!" (in reference to feeding my future child)...and while initially that shouldn't cause any concern, the wise friend's response was to rely on God in the situation and believe in his goodness to cover those circumstances as they come more than relying on any actions i can take or things i can do. it was then i realized what i had texted "i can do this..." wasn't it this blog post just weeks ago that i said i never want to be in a state of not being dependent on God again.  it's so easy to slip into that mindset. i was pumped because something that had seemed very daunting to me now seemed totally achievable...by my own doing. did i think all this new knowledge came magically to me? God has had me on this path of learning for months and he is, even now, helping to educate me on how to be the best mom to our future child.

God, continue to help me rely on you.  i never want to parent without His help. i don't want to (be wise in my own eyes...see last post) ever come to place where i think i can do this parenting thing, or know how to feed my child, or know how to discipline without Him.  i want to be desperate for Him in all areas...and while that's a scary desire because it's a hard one to walk out, isn't that what we signed up for when we became a christian? i need his guidance in all parts of life, from how i am a mom and share Christ with my child to best way to carry out my job.

so as i become excited about veggies in my garden feeding my child, i am simultaneously eager to see how God leads me to parent this particular child that he is giving specifically to us. he is placing a child with us that only we can parent and that is uniquely designed for this cecil family. and neither is possible without his complete guidance. may we never view squash the same. :)

wisdom and grace.

"In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. 7Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil" (proverbs 3:6-7)

this scripture hit me in the gut about a month ago.  and it's been the basis for many of my thoughts in the weeks since. this is a very growing time in mine and jacob's lives. we have been learning so much not only in our relationship with God, but in many other aspects like health, food, relationships and callings. it's easy when you are in a heavy gleaning time of life to feel wise.

so let me be the first to make a public apology. i don't understand it all.  or even an inkling. 

around that same time a month or so ago i was in a discussion with someone about how when adam and eve fell/sinned in the garden...everything fell.  ever since the introduction of sin, earth has been in an imperfect state...that includes a fallen state not only in our hearts, but in the earth and in animals, in the weather, everything.  and while we have received forgiveness through Christ's death on the cross, we are still living in a fallen world where the natural processes of life continue in a imperfect state all around us. and as i thought on this for a few days, i became overwhelmed by the idea of God being all-knowing and His understanding of everything going on in my life.  what i see going on around me is with a skewed view, but he sees ever so clearly. i don't see half of what He is doing in my life. the more i learn about Him, the more i'm in awe of all that i do not know about him. and for that reason alone, i am not wise. 

i will continue to learn and grow, but i will never know everything and what i do know will never give me the right to think i am more wise in an area than someone else or that my decisions made are better than someone else's. i make the best decisions for my life based on what i have learned and what God has shown me.  and i'll do the same for my child.  what i learn about what is healthy or best for my child or the best way to parent is what God has shown me, but it does not mean He has shown the same to you for your life or for your child. in His scripture he says he not only knew me before i was born, but that he knows the exact number of hairs on my head and the names of all the stars. His infinite knowledge far outweighs what i think i know. and because of this, i have found myself serving out more grace.  

i'm nearing thirty and as i look at those younger than me recently, i see them handling things in a way i would not. and while i saw myself recognizing this, i now am now trying to view it in light of the verse i have been shown...do not be wise in your own eyes. the very things those who are younger than me are doing, are easily the exact same things i did at that age...without the knowledge i have now.  how many times have i pulled out in front of someone in a parking lot? it's helped me bite my tongue while driving recently. and how many times have i said this or that thinking i was right when really i just hadn't learned more about it yet? it made me think of what i'll look back on at forty and wish i had handled differently at thirty.  while i'm often quick to judge, i'm now trying to be quick to show grace...knowing that i'm just as desperately in need of it as the next person.

friends have told me that it's good to learn things like this as i prepare to be a mom because your skin has to toughen up as everyone has an opinion on how to raise your child...and i'm liable to receive an extra portion of advice seeing how my first child's ethnicity will not match my own. so while i am researching and discussing methods of parenting and feeding recently, i'm recognizing already my own need for grace and am hoping as i try to give it to others who are learning that the same service will be shown to this new mom.